


House Work

by disney_rox_my_sox



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Domestic, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut, Water Fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disney_rox_my_sox/pseuds/disney_rox_my_sox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Church and Caboose are mischievous little sex monkeys when it comes to doing even the most mundane of house chores. Dishes turns into a water fight royale, and cleaning clothes is just an excuse for getting down and dirty in the laundry room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Work

**Author's Note:**

> A shout out to thejokeristhethief, who is a great sounding board and motivator for all my smutty thoughts ;D

“Woah! Easy on the suds there, Captain Bubbles. I know we had lasagna for supper, but it’s not tar that’s baked onto the pan.”

Church shook his head bemusedly, brown hair swaying over the tips of his ears in a mildly distracting manner. He needed to get a haircut soon. He stacked the last of the supper dishes on the counter next to the sink, then got the dish rack out from the cupboard underneath - taking a brief moment in his crouched position to glance sidelong at his boyfriend’s clothed crotch. He wondered how Caboose would react if he placed his mouth over the slightly tented fabric and gave a friendly nip. Would his cerulean eyes darken to sapphire in lust? Or would his wide, pink-lipped mouth gasp out an ‘oh’ of surprised pleasure? Suddenly, doing dishes was the last fucking thing on Church’s mind.

“Oh, I know, Church,” beamed Caboose, completely unaware of the direction his lover’s mind - and gaze - had gone. “I just like to watch it foam up bigger and bigger. Like a volcano. But a friendly volcano. With bubbles instead of lava. Because washing the dishes in lava would be impossible. Obviously.”

Church only half listened as he devised a plan of attack. He knew he could drag Caboose into their bedroom after they were done and just start kissing him. The blonde would get the hint quickly enough and would be more than happy to indulge him, just like always. But Church wanted to seduce his boyfriend. He wanted to drive him crazy first with seemingly innocent touches that would confuse and arouse, before letting him in on his true intentions. So he grabbed the wire drying rack and its bottom rubber tray and stood up, slowly and lightly dragging his shoulder along the entire length of Caboose’s thigh, hip and torso, until he was full-height again. Then he stepped back with an easy smile and set up his counter for drying the dishes.

When he turned around to grab a clean dish towel from a different drawer, he glimpsed the slight scrunching of Caboose’s brow and curious head tilt in his direction. Church ignored the unspoken question. He hadn’t missed the barely imperceptible pant of breath that his earlier movement had caused. Nor did he miss the faint thrust of Caboose’s hips towards him when he stepped away, as if unconsciously trying to regain their closeness. A smug light was quickly masked in Church’s grey-green eyes. His plan was working, but he didn’t want Caboose catching on too quickly.

Instead, he began to hum idly as he waited for the blonde to start washing. Caboose appeared to put the whole incident aside and started chatting as he plucked the utensils from the counter and placed them in the sudsy water. Church took a moment to make sure his slightly scatter-brained lover hadn’t put any sharp knives in the impossibly dense bath of bubbles. He didn’t want to worry about Caboose reaching blindly into the water only to end up grabbing a blade. Satisfied that all sharp implements were still safely on the counter, Church got back to plotting his next move.

Throughout the entire time Caboose was washing at the sink, Church would walk around the kitchen putting the dishes away, but he always made sure every movement was oriented to distract his lover. He stood closer than was necessary when he was putting away the plates in the the cupboard next to the blonde. When he pulled out the cutlery drawer on the right side of the sink to replace the utensils, he made sure he brushed the back of his hand grazingly along Caboose’s hip. Each time he put a glass away in the cupboard above Caboose’s head, he pressed up right along his back and reached both hands on either side of the blonde curls to lightly cage the younger man in.

“Um, Church… do you need me to move?” Caboose’s voice was sounding a little strangled as he spoke. “Because I am taller than you so I can move out of the way if you need me to…”

Church nearly purred. Caboose was starting to talk in circles like he did when he was rattled. “You’re fine, buddy. I have no troubles stretching my arms around you.”

“O-kay!” There was a definite squeak in the last syllable, as Church had blown a breath of hot air right on the sensitive skin below Caboose’s ear.

The brunette stepped back calmly. At the wide-eyed look he received, he merely shrugged his shoulders. “You had gotten some bubbles in your curls. I just blew them away.”

“What?!” At that comment, Caboose - unthinking in his lust befuddled state - reached up to pat down his hair. Doing so transferred an entire glob of suds to the top of his head. He froze comically, realising instantly what he had done. “Did I ... just…”

Church stared for one minute at the shocked look on his boyfriend’s face and then promptly burst out laughing. Caboose looked so stunned that Church just couldn’t help himself. He planted one hand on the counter and the other hand on one of Caboose’s broad shoulders to support himself. This is why he loved Caboose. Because, even when he was horny as fuck, Caboose could make Church laugh. No matter how he was feeling - angry, sad, frustrated. aroused - Caboose’s sunny nature warmed him. It brightened his spirit and pulled laughter from his often too serious and too cynical soul.

He was still laughing when a quiet plop sounded and a distinct trickling sensation oozed over his scalp. He turned to see Caboose grinning at him brilliantly, one hand brushing off the suds he had just dumped on Church’s head. “Now we match!”

A devilish smirk overcame Church’s face, causing the blonde to gulp, his adam’s apple bobbing enticingly. Church watched the skimming motion on his lover’s throat with a predatory gleam in his eyes. His voice was silky when he spoke, but unquestionably dangerous. “I hope you know … this means war.”

An all out splash battle ensued. No one and nothing was safe. Hands scooped up waves of water and bubbles to soak faces. Cups were used for long distance splashes when either of them thought stepping away from the sink would gain them a respite from the wet. At one point, Church had grabbed the hose tap to spray Caboose, but the bigger man had merely run straight into the water, turning the tap to full blast cold and wrestled it out of Church’s soaked grip. Puddles drenched the counter and floor until both of them called a truce and slumped into the pool at their feet. Their chests heaved and their backs leaned against one another. Every once in a while, a giggling hiccup would escape from Caboose, and Church reached one hand back and over his head to pet the dripping satin of blonde curls on his lover’s head.

“You know, buddy,” Church started droley. “Normally when washing dishes, you should try to keep the water IN the sink.”

Another boyish sounding giggle fit started, and Church took a moment to appreciate the sound and what it did to his heart. “You are the one who is supposed to be drying. You need to get a towel and start doing your job, Church. But do not worry, I will help you.”

Caboose’s words gave Church a very clever idea. A salacious grin settled on his face as he hauled himself up and turned to help Caboose do the same. “You’re right. It’s my job to dry, so I should get us dry.” This said, he started to tug the blonde along behind him.

He deposited his lover in their laundry room with an order to wait for him to come back. Then he ran to their bedroom down the hall to collect provisions. He came back to find Caboose dripping on the tiled floor and scratching his head. Church placed his bundle of folded towels - and other things - on the washer. Then he turned his full attention to Caboose.

He took his time. He loved the sight of Caboose, always. But he was especially captivating now. His usually wheat-coloured curls were darker, like the colour of spun gold, from the wet. They still twisted gently, but they were heavy with water that dripped to his shoulders. Shoulders that were broad, and sturdy, and had muscles that were clearly delineated by the damp, clinging fabric of his shirt. The wet, white cotton contoured perfectly to his wide chest and ridged abs. He looked glorious, and Church rather enjoyed the unconventional wet t-shirt display.

Stepping up to his lover, Church gently grasped the hem of the soaked shirt and brought it slowly up. He let his knuckles graze the newly exposed flesh as it was revealed inch by inch. When he pulled the garment completely off, he threw it into the open dryer with a wet plop. This done, Church stepped back to Caboose with a fresh towel from the pile he had placed on the washer. He didn’t touch yet with the bare skin of his whole hand. Instead, he wrapped the the towel around his fist and gently, maddeningly, drew it over the expansive torso of muscles before him. He dried Caboose’s flesh with sure strokes of the soft cloth, front and back. Occasionally he would press a tiny butterfly kiss on a particularly enticing patch of skin, but he allowed his lover no more than a puff of his breath, a glide of his lips, or a flick of his tongue.

Caboose, for his part, was trapped in the haze Church had created. His heavy arms stayed at his sides, his body pliant to his boyfriend’s tender ministrations. Church was loving it. The sense of power he got from rendering someone as strong as Caboose to this weakened state sent a thrill shivering up his spine. It made him tense with anticipation.

Deciding it was time to move on, Church placed the now damp towel in the dryer with the shirt. He probably could have used it still, but how sexy would it feel to be dried off with an already moist cloth? Answer: not very. So instead, Church started his routine all over again, this time at Caboose’s bottom garments. 

He tucked one hand into the waistband of Caboose’s jeans, careful to pull it away from his body so only the back of his fingers brushed the fair curls below his boyfriend’s navel. Caboose gave a little panting breath and tried to push his hips closer for a surer touch, but Church easily evaded. He lightly admonished his eager lover with a tutting sound and eyed Caboose until he was sure the blonde would stay where he was before he continued. Then he undid the button on the jeans and slid the zipper down slowly. Church could see that the dark fabric of Caboose’s boxer-briefs were as soaked as the rest of him, so there would be more fabric clinging to far more interesting places. 

Shifting his grip on the jeans, he knelt before dragging the pants down Caboose’s legs, this time letting only the roughness of the soaked denim caress his lover’s skin. When the blonde stepped out of them as urged, Church threw them in the dryer and returned his hands back up to the undergarment’s waistband. Same as before, Church didn’t allow his fingers to touch Caboose’s on their journey down his legs. Instead he waited until he had the boxer-briefs down around the blonde’s ankles.

“Lift your right foot.” He whispered quietly as he looked up to Caboose’s face, allowing his breath to shiver along his newly exposed erection.

Caboose placed his hands on Church’s shoulders, eyeing the kneeling man cautiously to see if this movement was allowed. Church nodded encouragingly, so he shifted his hold and then lifted his foot for the brunette. He inhaled quickly and held the breath when he felt the thumbnail of Church’s hand press firmly along the entire arch of his foot as the fabric was pulled free.

“Now the other.” And if Caboose could have thought, he would have noticed that the brunette’s voice had taken on the same silky, dangerous quality as it had before starting the water fight. However, all he could do was lift his foot as directed. It allowed Church to scrape his thumbnail down the other arch in a long line, as he completely removed the undergarment.

Church stood and threw the wet fabric into the dryer. He quickly stripped himself, placing his soaked clothes in. Then he took one towel and used it to scrub himself dry before placing it in the machine, too. Hoping he hadn’t spent too much time away and that Caboose hadn’t shaken out of his daze yet, Church grabbed the last towel from on top of the washer before returning to stand in front of the blonde.

He really needn’t have worried about Caboose coming out of his pleasured trance yet. While the velvet blue eyes had started to clear a bit, the moment they spotted an equally naked and aroused Church, they clouded over once more. A flush of desire bloomed on Caboose’s fair cheeks, spreading down to his chest where a humming sound of appreciation started. It was almost a purr, and Church couldn’t help but preen a bit, his cock straining towards his greedily staring lover.

But Church had plans, and he couldn’t let Caboose’s avid interest sway him. Not yet. He knelt again, running the towel up and down Caboose’s legs. His caresses turned to faint brushes at the inside of his thighs. These turned to even lighter skims as they reached higher, just barely allowing the fluffy cloth to flit across Caboose’s straining length. Deep, heavy panting burst from the blonde’s parted lips, his tongue darting out to moisten his dry mouth.

At that action, Church surged upwards to his feet. He pressed his own lips to Caboose’s. His tongue speared out to capture the blonde’s, then moved inside to lick, massage and otherwise conquer his boyfriend’s mouth. During the passionate kiss, Church retained enough of his composure to toss the final towel into the dryer, slam the door, and turn the machine on. Then he allowed himself to finally let go. 

He walked Caboose back towards the rumbling machine and pressed his hips firmly into it. Caboose responded by wrapping his long arms around Church’s neck and diving his strong fingers into his still damp brown hair. From there it was all take, take, take - each man vying for control of the kiss. Caboose whimpered his pleasure into Church’s mouth and thrust his hips towards his lover. Church responded with a hiss as he released Caboose, only to claim his bottom lip and scrape it lightly between his teeth..

“Oh, god, Church - “ Caboose gasped and pleaded. “I need… I just want…” He couldn’t even find the words to describe his pleasure, let alone what he wanted Church to do to him. He could only press into the brunette, hoping his lover would know how to take care of him.

“Yeah, Caboose…” Church breathed, stepping back into control. He pressed his hands firmly into Caboose’s hips, urging them to stay still against the dryer. He leaned away to observe his work, pleased to see that the blonde looked utterly wrecked. His lips were bruised and glistening. His eyes were raw with need. Mewls of desire trembled from his throat. Perfect.

Once more Church knelt to the floor in front of Caboose. He ran his nose up and down the crease of flesh between his hip joint and thigh. Caboose shivered. Church ran his tongue along the ‘V’ of muscles right below his abdomen, giving little scrapes of teeth. Caboose bucked his hips forward. Taking the hint, Church smiled and brought his attention to the very center of his lover’s torso.

He started at Caboose’s bellybutton, nipping into it with sharp little love bites, then soothing it with the flat of his tongue. Next he moved his way down the trail of curls with his nose, taking the time to breathe deeply of the arousal that had already leaked from Caboose’s long, thick cock. The blonde dove his hands into Church’s hair and tried to steer him where he needed his lover to be.

“Please, Church!” He begged.

This was the moment Church had been waiting for - when Caboose was so needy and desperate that his voice broke as he pleaded. It was the best fucking sound Church had ever heard. To reward his lover, Church began to praise Caboose with his mouth. He worshipped Caboose’s cock with lips, and tongue, and teeth. Taking just the tip into his mouth, he sucked briefly, harshly, to retrieve the first pearly drops of precum. Then he eased the pressure, until his lips were no longer even touching Caboose’s length. From there, he lightly grazed only his teeth around and down a few inches. Caboose could feel the warm, moist breath, but since neither Church’s lips, nor cheeks, nor tongue were actually touching him, it wasn’t the full wet feeling he wanted.

“Ah! Church - Please… oh, please!”

Finally Church gave in. He pressed the flat of his tongue on the underside of Caboose’s cock and licked firmly from base to tip. Once he had come to the tip, he didn’t stop. He just engulfed Caboose in his mouth and sank down his length, until the end was nuzzling the back of his throat.

Once surrounded by the wet heat, Caboose’s voice turned blissful. “Oh, yes, Church! God, yes! I love you! I just … ahhh...”

Church couldn’t really grin around Caboose’s cock, but he wanted to. That satisfied sigh was like heaven to him, and he just needed to hear it again. So Church did the same move, only backwards. He pulled his lips back up to the tip, releasing it from his mouth, and then pressed the flat of his tongue on the vein pulsing underneath and slid it down to the base. There he waited, until Caboose started to grumble and plead again. Then he did it all over. Up the cock with his tongue, down the entire length in his mouth. All so he could hear Caboose sigh.

Done with his teasing, Church kept Caboose fully in his mouth as he raised up higher on his knees. Then he really started to blow him in earnest. His head bobbed speedily, up and down, up and down. He raised both hands to wraps around Caboose’s base and caress up his length whenever he lifted his head on an upstroke so the blonde always felt a warm, wet pressure over his entire cock.

Caboose became very verbal - and very loud - in his pleasure. “Yes, Church! More! All the way down! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Church could hear that exact moment before Caboose came, the tiniest break in his voice. Ready for it, Church gave one quick squeeze to the base of Caboose’s cock and swallowed him down as deep as he could. The blonde head was thrown back in climax as he shouted Church’s name. Church continued to swallow and suck throughout, prolonging his lover’s orgasm until the last amount of cum had been drained from his body.

Caboose’s knees went lax and he slumped back against the still running dryer with a thump. Church licked him clean tenderly before he rose to his feet and softly kissed Caboose on the lips. He gazed at the satiated expression, the lust-fulfilled eyes just beginning to droop with sleepy pleasure. A warm look of love crossed his own face.

“Hey, babe. You okay to continue? Or do you wanna take a nap?”

“Oh, no, Church.” Caboose roused himself quickly, his eager energy seemingly coming from nowhere. “We need to take care of you now. It is only fair.”

Church smiled at the renewed interest in the darkening blue eyes before him. A small hardening twitch against his own erection confirmed that Caboose was already gearing up for another round. “Alright buddy. If you insist. But there’s something I wanna try …”

“Hmm?” Caboose hummed against Church’s neck. He sucked little love marks into the skin there while he waited for his lover to continue. It took a moment.

“Uh… Ya- God, it’s difficult to concentrate with you doing that!” Church exploded in a heated breath. But when Caboose began to withdraw, Church was quick to correct himself. “I didn’t want you to stop! Fuck, don’t stop! Okay. Good. Ya, really, REALLY good!”

Caboose nipped playfully at the throbbing vein in Church’s neck before the brunette just gave up on his explanation. “Fuck it! You’ll get the idea soon enough. Right now I just want to fuck you until we’re both spent!”

Pulling away from Caboose was difficult, but necessary for his plans. His hands were rough as he grasped the taller man by his hips and spun him around so he was facing the dryer. Then, keeping one hand on the blonde’s hip, he pressed the other onto Caboose’s back, bending him over the machine so his chest was resting on the flat top.

Reaching over for the other thing he had piled on the washer, Church grabbed the bottle of lube. He opened the cap and squirted a liberal amount on his fingers. All the while he breathed into Caboose’s ear. “God, I want you so bad! I’m gonna open you up, fuck you nice and slow on my fingers. Then, when you’re ready, when you’re gasping for me and begging for my cock, I’m gonna fuck you mercilessly.”

Caboose shook with ecstasy, feeling his length hardening again. “Whatever- Whatever you want, Church!”

Church took his lubed hand and trailed it lightly down Caboose’s back. He went right in between his ass cheeks to the small pucker that was already spasming with need. Church continued to talk as he rubbed one calloused finger along the rim. He told Caboose how much he wanted him, what he did to him, how he loved him. Then, quick and smooth, Church thrust one finger into Caboose’s quivering hole, just up to the knuckle. 

Caboose gasped in surprise, but he let out a long moan when Church removed his finger at an achingly slow pace. Then the circling of his rim started again. The strokes were never predictable. Sometimes Church went clockwise; sometimes he went counterclockwise. Sometimes his finger pressed down firmly; sometimes the caress was barely there. Sometimes he circled the muscles surrounding his hole for minutes; sometimes he only made one quick circuit. But still, a pattern emerged. Church would circle his rim however and for as long as he pleased, then he would plunge a finger sharply into him - going a little deeper each time - only to drag it out slowly.

“More!” Caboose pleaded desperately, canting his hips backwards into Church’s hand.

Taking him at his word, Church started the whole process over. Only this time, he pushed two fingers into Caboose’s hole. He started with shallow thrusts, but as he circled, plunged and withdrew, he went further in each time. Then he started over with shallow dips of three fingers at a time.

Caboose was hollering. He needed more. It was not enough. It was not the pumping, thrusting, pounding sensation that he wanted. “I am ready, Church! God, I am ready! I want your cock! I want it all! PLEASE!”

Church withdrew his fingers. He took time to quickly spread some lube on his aching cock, the stimulation of his own fingers nearly bringing him to the brink. Then he lined up to Caboose’s hole and thrust.

It was perfect. The tight muscles sucked him in greedily. The squelching sound as he pumped into Caboose’s ass was dirty and delicious. His hips set a brutal pace, allowing him to bottom out each time. He leaned forward, pressing his chest into Caboose’s broad back, so he could bite marks into the firm, muscled flesh beneath him. He lost himself to the dark, vicious need to take, and claim, and fill.

Caboose was lost as well. After all that teasing, all he wanted was to feel Church slam into him. He needed to be filled to bursting. Nothing else would sate this hunger except Church, except being filled by Church. His erection was now fully hard and weeping, ready for another release. He leaned his hips forward, towards the running dryer in front of him, to brace himself for more. And that was when he felt it. That was when he got what Church had wanted to try. Bent over the dryer, being fucked, it was the best sensation ever. He could feel Church thrusting into him from behind while the vibrating thrum from the warm metal surface of the machine stimulated his own erection. He rutted against it once, twice - and it was enough to finish him off a second time.

Church heard Caboose cry out. Then he felt the man beneath him thrust forwards, towards the heat of the dryer - clearly enjoying the feeling as much as Church thought he would. It lasted only two strokes before Caboose found his release. Church smelled the arousal in the air sharpen to a musky scent. Satisfied that Caboose was finished, he allowed himself one final thrust before coming undone.

Their chests heaved in unison where they slumped over the dryer together. Church would have felt bad that he was resting all his upper body weight on Caboose’s back, but his boyfriend was built like a truck and could easily support him. He felt himself soften and slip out of Caboose. He waited one extra minute, to be sure his wobbly legs would hold him, before he straightened. He had just leaned forward to place a tender kiss on one of the love bites he had given his lover, when the buzzer signalling the end of the load went off.

The two of them stood and glanced at each other. Caboose grinned sunnily, and Church gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. They got dressed in companionable silence. Church was scowling a bit because he suddenly remembered the mess that they had to clean up in the kitchen. It was always more fun to have the splash fight than it was to sop up the mess. But they eventually finished, and Church was exhausted. He just wanted to curl up with his man and sleep. Caboose got into the bed with a grumpy, tired Church.

“Hey, do not frown like that Church.” He said happily. Before Church could ask why the blonde was so energetically joyful, his boyfriend explained. “After all, tomorrow is laundry day!”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Washing The World Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539489) by [thejokeristhethief](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejokeristhethief/pseuds/thejokeristhethief)




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